"Love yourself" is terrible advice when you don't know what love actually is.
A Pink Flamingo shared recently: “People always tell me to love myself... but no one ever tells me HOW.”
I remember being in that same place.
I talked about “self-love” and knew too many of the "self-care" phrases. But inside, I was still anxious, still unsure, still struggling to love myself. I knew how to be a "loving" safe space for others, but struggled to be that for myself.
One day, in the midst of my frustration (took two burnouts - in corporate & ministry - to get there), God showed me something critical about love.
He said: "You're trying to love others when you don't know how to love yourself. And you'll never learn to love yourself well until you learn how I
love."
Most of us were taught how to perform love. Not how to be loved. Not how to receive it.
Most of us were taught how others expect to be loved or how we expect to be loved. But not what love actually is according to the One who created it.
So we perform love. We give from depletion. We confuse service with sacrifice.
And we wonder why we're exhausted.
The gap isn't in your effort. It's in your
foundation.
Where are you trying to learn self-love? Are you willing to go to the Source to learn what love really is? Or have you been relying on a broken model?
When you start to see how God
loves and sees you. How seriously He takes the things concerning you and how everything (even correction) is working for your good...
It transforms how you love and see yourself. And that transforms how you love and show up for others.
Are you building love on sandy foundations when the best love is built on The Rock? Your foundation matters.
Your Pink Flamingo Dare:
Give
your heart new data about what real love looks like. God's love for you is all around you. Write down three unusual things you are immensely grateful for today. If you dare, reply and tell me your three things.
With pink flamingo love,
Chanel
P.S. If you're ready to go deeper into discovering your truest "Pink Flamingo" self and learning to love God, yourself, AND your neighbor without self-sacrifice, here are two ways to work with me:
1. JOIN THE PINK FLAMINGO CLUB
A safe space where you can remove the mask, dream again (and dream bigger), and get practical tools for everyday moments. Live practice sessions, ongoing community support, and the frameworks you need to love
others without losing yourself.
"The Pink Flamingo Club has helped me discover a lot about my identity. I've gotten so many valuable and practical tools and strategies on how to anchor myself in the identity that God gave me and show up as my truest self in different areas of life. I know God sees me. I
know how I should show up as his daughter first, and what He has called me to do. It's like a navigation group with Chanel being used by God as the navigator to help us." — C
"In Search of the Pink Flamingo" is your guide to discovering who God created you to be and how to ditch the expectations of others and live from that
identity daily. All proceeds support Caribbean emotional wellness through our nonprofit.
"I've been called vocal my whole life, but not once did I ever feel like my voice belonged to me. I fell in love with myself and who I can be while reading this book. I found myself crying, contemplating things I've
gone through and finally being at peace with several parts of my story. I am finding my pink flamingo – I found her in the pages of this book and so can you."
