, ever said...no and then spent the next three hours (or days) replaying every word on a loop?
Analyzing your tone.
Analyzing their tone and reaction. Wondering if you came across as cold or "selfish." If you said too much or not enough.
Maybe you are experiencing this right now. Let me share something.
For
years, I felt like saying no was letting people down. Failing to show up. That it would cost me relationships.
So every "no" became an anxiety and guilt-laden frenzy - overthinking before I said it. Overthinking and cold-sweating during the conversation. Replaying and dissecting the conversation on a loop afterwards. Exhausting, right?
Here's the deal: The guilt and anxiety that rises after you say no isn't about the other person at all.
Sometimes, it's your worth still being tied to your ability to serve, to gain approval, to keep
everyone comfortable. The right therapist or counsellor works magic here.
Sometimes, it's because you haven't developed your capacity to say or receive a "no".
A part of developing that
capacity is understanding how your "no" serves you AND that person. This is where common advice like "no is a complete sentence" and "set boundaries" leaves you feeling ill-equipped.
In cases like those, it requires getting clear on:
How you're meant to show up in the roles God created you for
How you're meant to relate to
others through those roles
What stewardship of yourself AND others in those roles actually looks like
When I became clear about my role as a steward of that relationship and understand that saying "no" at the right time served not just me, but the other person too - the guilt and anxiety went away.
I could finally say no confidently, knowing it was right for everyone involved... even if they don't react well to hearing my "no".
Does my voice still tremble sometimes? Yes. We're human and we get nervous doing hard things.
And sometimes showing love for others and ourselves requires us to do hard things.
But underneath that nervousness is steady confidence and peace: This is me loving myself and others. This no honors God, me AND them.
In The Pink Flamingo Club, we practice getting to that clarity and developing your capacity to stand confidently as your truest self in those everyday moments. Not theory - actual practice at loving others without losing yourself to self-sacrifice or a hardened heart.
So you finally know what to do and how to do it as your truest God-aligned "pink flamingo" self, even in hard tricky moments. 35/40 slots available.
Peace doesn't come from others liking your boundaries. It comes from you knowing you're doing the right thing and you liking yourself as you hold those boundaries.
The free Oct 14 Pink Flamingo Club Taster Session has 10 spots. This is where
you get a taste of what it's like to be in the Club.
P.S: You don't need another boundary script. You need clarity on how to steward yourself and others as your truest God-aligned self. That's what we practice in the Pink Flamingo Club.
