As we prepare for my 3rd international move in a year and a half, I'm feeling all the feels. 

The grief. The sadness. The uncertainty. The disappointment. The anger (at God). The excitement. The apprehension. The agitation. The anxiety. You name it, I've probably felt it

And with those emotions come invitations to slip back into old patterns of self-sacrifice that don't honor me or the other person. 

In the last three days alone... 

• I've caught myself trying to micromanage the person selling our stuff. 
• I've caught myself trying to control my husband's actions because he needs to move faster.
• I've caught myself planning and replanning, trying to figure out the best way to get all the stuff in our house sold by Oct 18th.
• I've caught myself staying busy to avoid dealing with the reality of the emotions in front of me.

Doesn't sound peaceful or joyful, does it. 

Patterns of self-abandonment don't just 'go away' like that. Even as you mature, things still come up every day that can cost you your truest "pink flamingo" self, peace, joy and relationships.

And that's why I'm grateful for a community of friends and loved ones who point out when these patterns are emerging and make space for me.

That's why I'm grateful for years of practice and healing that position me to take intentional steps towards my truest pink flamingo self in the daily moments. 

I make space for my emotions before they become issues. Even if I don't notice those emotions, I have practice with catching myself, noting the behavior and immediately pausing to understand WHY I'm reacting a certain way. Not just the behavior itself, but the root reason behind it.

From there, I'm able to regulate my emotions and respond from a place that honors my truest self and the people around me.

Practicing loving others without losing myself doesn't just help me personally. It helps my relationships with the people around me.

Imagine the tension and strain that show up in your relationship when you try to control your spouse's actions because you are anxious.

Because I tuned into myself and took responsibility for my feelings and my way of relating, I was able to express my emotions and thoughts to Jeremy without making him responsible for my feelings. This created the space for me to get the support I need without dishonoring either of us.

, wouldn't it be nice to enter seasons where there's a lot going on but you don't fall apart or feel like you took 2 steps backward in your recovery from self-sacrifice? 

To be able to show up for yourself in a way that allows you to love others as yourself. To not fall into habits that aren't self-honoring? To not deal with the guilt and frustration afterwards because you know better?

To not fall into habits that aren't neighbor-honoring? 

You and I both know that it's not kind to project your anxiety onto someone else just because you're feeling anxious.

This is what we practice in the Pink Flamingo Club: fast-tracking your ability to catch yourself in old patterns, pause to understand the root, regulate your emotions, and learn to show up for yourself in ways that honor both you AND the people around you.

Even when life is chaotic. Even when stress is high. Even when everything in you wants to fall back into self-sacrificial behaviours like control or avoidance.

🦩 Ready to learn how to catch yourself before old patterns take over? Join the free Pink Flamingo Club Taster TODAY at 1:00PM ET. 9 spots left. Secure yours today.

With pink flamingo love,

Chanel

P.S. Old patterns don't disappear just because you know better. You need practice catching them, understanding them, and responding differently - in real time. That's what the Pink Flamingo Club is for.